Angel 3...the stumbling block

Okay so here i am on my quest to finish an angel a month. I had an idea for the third one, it was early summer... i was feeling drawn to incorporate the image of an ankh into my painting. I drew out the angel, the ankh, thought of colors and began. When i begin a painting there is a large amount of under painting, I block in colors, create the shape of the wings, and then get the layers going. I was experimenting with a different brand of paint, basically it was cheap paint, which was giving me a difficult time. Because it was summer, the air was humid. This seemed to be making the paint tacky, hard to blend and just plain yuck. I must have wiped the paint off the canvas 3 different times trying to get the right color, and effect. So i had false starts, the work I'd done erased. I was getting frustrated, but at the same time liked the pink and blue colors of the cheap paint i was using. I was tempted to just stop the angel, to keep her static, simple in her stance. This was not to be her destiny. I was going to keep painting, and try to make something happen here that i had not done before. That was symmetry, a forward facing angel with two wings. Yikes, this was turning into several weeks of work, and work it out I did. I had a period of time during this one, i called a block. I had never done a face like this, I had never pushed through so many moments when i just wanted to stop painting and do something else. Persevere i did, this painting took about 7 weeks, and when i look at her now i am glad i did. My most favorite part of this painting is her mouth, just in itself is so sweet. I just look at her lips and i am happy. I ended up naming this angel "carry the cross". In Egyptian times the ankh was used as a symbol of life. It was depicted in hieroglyphs as a cross with a handle, believed to be carried into the after life. I had these things tumbling in my thoughts when i was in my art studio I heard a song called "carry the cross" on the radio. I haven't heard the song since, but it stuck with me, and the title came together. I think of my own life and how i feel at times i am holding onto life.

hello world! i am an artist!!!

In life there are times when we face challenges. This is one of those times for me. For most of my life I have been involved in art; my art. I drew a lot as a child and teen, and found a love for color through painting. I have used the paint brush as a poet, as an observer, and an outlet for my searching.
I would create something on canvas or paper, and then file it away. Now by file it away, i mean I put in the basement or in a box. Hidden, undisclosed, silent. For whatever reasons (and yes i know what some of them are) I was shy about my art. Shy in general is a better description. I always knew i could draw, paint, express my creativity, and so on. But I never thought I could let other people in on my "secret". That I in fact am an artist, and I have something to share with the world. It really wasn't until I began my series of Angel Paintings that I took seriously something missing in my art. The ability to let it go. I have had baby steps leading up to this realization. Like participating in an art show at my church, or having cards made. But I have always held tightly to my artwork, and now I am facing the giants that keep my art from being exposed. There within is my challenge. Finding the "gems" that will empower me to give value to my art. Thus affirming I have value as an artist. Thus enabling to me to share my art with people. To expose my thoughts and feelings, with the colors of my pallet, to capture the echoes of my spirituality. To unveil what my intention as a visual artist is. And that is to bring hope, and inspiration into a world of people. I want to capture beauty and translate it. This is where I am right now in my unfolding as an artist, and i am going to blog this journey as diligently as i can. I seek the growth i need as an artist, the freedom and unfolding. So help me blog, I will complete this task.